Don’t you understand yet? After today ends, after the rising, rousing, redsome gloriousness of today draws to its eventual beautiful decay, after all the hate and pain and maybe-if is stripped away, all that is ever really left is us. And we will become like ghosts that haunt the nights like chance.
Today I missed the feel of the brush in my hand and I wanted the blinding smell of colour like dreaming in my head. When you breathe with your entire skin, you take the whole world into you like a drug. Like a lover. And then you die.
Just to see how much I could stand to love before I died, I jumped. Like too much wine and too much star-searching, this can get to you. Again, like a lover. Perhaps like a ghost.
Winding wormholes under the city, and we are lost in the belly of the beast with plastic teeth and base humanity so raw it hurts. Down here in the dark, speeding like an almost-sin, the shadows of all the people who ever lived weigh down upon us like an eternity of regret. It seeps into the stone like cancer. And then you die.
Maybe this is all a dream where ghosts do exist, but all I can remember is the sound of your voice telling me secrets like we’ve been doing this forever.
Tonight I walk my way into disconnect, into everything I want and everything I am afraid of. Because maybe I missed this too.
Damn it.
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